MY FRIEND EDITH: Edith's 94th BIRTHDAY and Memorial

Edith, obm, passsed over days before her 95th birthday.

End of a joyous loving era with my beloved BFF Edith.
http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com

Edith's 94th Birthday

Edith on her 94th birthday sitting in her back patio looking out over her garden

filled with family.

One of her granddaughters made this dress for Edith.

Of Blessed Memory

EDITH 4.18.1923 - 4.5.2018

For the last time, I kissed my most beloved best friend, Edith, obm, goodbye.

Edith was surrounded by all her loving children.

May Edith's sweet soul soar to Heaven and be reunited with her husband, all her family and friends and doggies who have gone before her for the last 95 years. None of her generation remained, Edith would remind me. Edith just celebrated her Easter holiday with children and their children, but then the next day continuing illness overtook Edith. She has died 13 days short of her 95th birthday.

I love her so.

This day of passing over, Kabbalistic Sephirotic Omer day & week Hod sh'b Chesed, Splendor and Gratitude within Loving Kindness, is truly Edith’s.

BFF, Joy

My deepest condolences and hugs.

Edith and I have both been temple musicians! Edith in church, and I in synagogue. Is that what brought us together? NO, it was because Edith was a fabulous gardener, and I would wave as I drove past, and then I learned, so much more.

Edith was a scout leader also and PTA president. Jealous that I too didn’t grow up in Edith’s den, her garden of love. As an adult I tried to make up for it.

Edith told me how she had loved looking up the hill from where she lived, and seeing only dirt, and then it was carved out for houses, like mine, ruining the area where her kids played. So i guess our friendship was bitter sweet.

In mornings I must remember on my own now to take my pills. Edith called me as reminder every morning. Good excuse to call.

I feel every moment of the non call, especially with every phone ring each morning, but it is not Edith. She used to call me at 6:30am to say hi, and then the calls became later in morning.

Edith must have known she was heading off to Heaven because last words of hers to me referring to the pills were, “Have you made it a habit?” She never said that to me.

I thanked Edith EVERY DAY for calling me to remind me to take morning pills. Now EVERY MORNING as I awake, Edith will be in my heart as I have to do this chore alone.

Of course, I really believed that I too was helping Edith feel she had an important job to do. And we got to shmooze. I heard her wonderful stories of life. About her kids when young, and that both her own mother and mother-in-law lived with her at the ends of their lives. I never heard Edith complain. And oy, she heard my stories. Yes, she was my best friend to listen to me.

I visited her beloved husband, obm, the day before his death a decade ago, at a same facility receiving medical care where my husband, obm, had also been.

A son said Edith and I were “a pair”. Never looked at us that way, I didn’t look at us, but I guess we were.

I loved being "a pair" as Edith served all the time since 2013 as my model for my photo group themes. Or invited me to use her ‘things' as props, especially Caty.

Even cat hair in a tomato basket hanging from tomato cages with wood laundry clips in veggie garden, for birds to take for their nesting- was a prop for photo theme, strange.

I think as a pair, the best thing we did together was make blesSings with gratitude to G*d prior to every meal we shared. I would pick up something at eatery for us to eat, mostly in the summer, and Edith would have us sit outside at the round glass table, and I’d bring her little folded cloth towels for napkins, and water, and plates. I’d bring them in at meal’s end and give a wash. There would be a portion leftover for Edith to have the next day, or to share with daughter later at night. I’m already missing our little dinners. We would watch the hummingbirds as we visited.

Guess we were a pair as I put the nightly drops in Edith’s eyes. I miss doing that, although I did not like pulling down the lower lids as instructed to create a pocket. Sometimes the drops landed perfectly! Sometimes they were little bubbles and we had to contend with them. I only missed once and wasted a single drop. We would laugh about it. Edith said she didn’t want to go blind, so enlisted my help. We had quite a routine, our nightly ritual.

Edith was my BEST LIFE GUARD!!! So grateful for Edith. http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/06/edith-my-life-guard.html

Inside the pool hanging onto the side, I would tread water as we shmoozed with Edith close to edge sitting higher on a lawn chair. Didn’t get a lot of swimming in. Edith would also play ball with her dog, Lola. http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2010/07/lola.html

I’ve been truly blessed that family allowed me into their lives to share their most beloved mother, and Granny, and great Granny.

It has been a pleasure for me to know the most loving family in my friend’s life.

I would always come later to Edith's family holiday and her birthday celebrations because as I finally shared with Edith in years past, I just felt the family might first want their time together. Edith responded, “You’re family.” tears...

I will miss all of Edith’s family.

I will see the family at Edith’s memorial.

My sister will also come. She used to make soup and bring it to Edith, and show her photos and art on computer, and play music and read poetry recently to her. My sister, too loved Edith. We both have Edith’s house keys that must be returned to family.

May Edith's sweet soul soar to Heaven and be reunited with all her beloved family and husband, and friends and doggies who have gone before her for the last 95 years. Edith was blessed to be surrounded by her loving children and grandchildren. I love her so much. I have a single dried old slice of persimmon in my fridge, couple years since I had the 2016 dried crop. I keep it.

Thank you to daughters and a friend for all the jams and baking they made that I enjoyed. Every December holiday and my birthday I received jars of home made jam. At times I contributed my figs to their process.

I can always remember Edith’s persimmon process by turning on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J023-ZFfCpM

Another favorite YouTube is the movie I made in Edith’s pool in Tribute to Edith:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFSnnHC2_7M&spfreload=1

EDITH’s website with many posts:

https://myfriendedith.blogspot.com

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2018/04/ediths-94th-birthday-and-memorial.html
http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2016/04/ediths-93rd-birthday.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2016/09/ediths-92nd-birthday.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2014/04/ediths-91st-birthday.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/05/ediths-90th-birthday.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2010/01/for-ediths-89th-birthday-from-joy.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/06/joy-in-morning-swim-time.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/06/edith-my-life-guard.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2014/04/portraits-of-edith.html
http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/06/palm-heart.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/06/hummingbirds.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/02/ediths-flowers.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-friend-edith.html

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2010/07/lola.html
http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com/2013/06/bon-bon-caty-sparkles.html

In appreciation, and in deep sadness, yet with magnificent memories from many years.

May family and friends find comfort in the shared memories.

With sympathy and my condolences,

Joy

THANK YOU for most wonderful family movie-- so many tears and I’d just cleaned my glasses. AGAIN.

Watched a life time film about Edith, made by her loving family.

BEAUTIFUL film about dear Edith. Edith was so pretty and adorable even when young. :)

Wow, I got billing as a BFF, and so many of my photos used of Edith and her produce makes me soooo happy. And at pool, with Lola, Caty/Bon Bon, flag, and and.

And a couple shots of us together, I’m so glad, just crying. Looks like we did PhotoBooth together.

Edith did NOT like the photo of her with the pitchfork. oy. She was particular about which photos she liked! and didn’t. I did set that one up...

Wow, you even got a photo of my Aviva in there, stooping down and shooting Edith’s garden with her. I’ll tell Aviva. She too loved Edith since she was young, but moved to East Coast.

Did I tell you that even Aviva’s daughter met Edith and her garden? I’ll add photo below. Ok, I added a few.

At synagogue today people gave me condolences and hugs because they knew about my friend Edith and my love for her.

There is a prayer called ‘Kaddish', for loved ones no longer here, and I said that for Edith.

Today was a special annual day on last day of Passover remembering loved ones who’ve passed, so I had ‘Yiskor’ also for Edith.

Today was hard for me at synagogue lunch after Shabbat service.

For years I would always bring Edith a treat from lunch/kiddush (bagel filled with something, maybe yummy whitefish or eggplant or tuna...) and dessert, chocolate cake made by a friend, and other Jewish goodies, and fruits.

Today I went by the table and broke down crying because I realized I could NOT bring Edith treats from lunch. I ate her chocolate portion. Not Dove, though, Edith's favorite. Christmas I brought her Dove chocolates.

I have matzoh/unleavened bread at home to give to Edith who loved it, and I can’t; not anymore and that is truly upsetting.

(I felt that way when I couldn’t bring treats also to my husband, like breakfast in a happy bible story bowl.)

Hours before Passover, I sold my bread (chometz) to Edith as I do every year. Money doesn’t pass between us, but as a Jew, I can’t own bread on Passover holiday and in case there is anything left in house, or crumbs I missed, it’s not mine if sold. Bread is ‘puffed up’, like ego can be, and the Israelites when leaving Egypt during Exodus had no time for bread to rise, so that’s why we eat only matzoh, representing that time.

Edith did NOT like puffery. Never approved of my sharing my successes with her that I was pleased about... I shared them anyway... Last month a journal published my poetry and I told her. no comment. Next week I play in a concert. no comment. I shared the good and the bad. :) with the chocolate. I explained at times to Edith why I think it is important to share accomplishments, and without it being 'puffed up'.

Maybe she didn’t tell her children, but Edith was proud of their accomplishments. She’d tell me all the good news!!!!! And I loved hearing it. And how all the babies of her grandchildren would talk early!!! She would show me on her computer the videos!!! Oh, we had fun on her computer. I gave her a box of screen cleaners to see better. She said she didn’t need it, but I used it anyway on screen and keyboard for her.

We surely had our political and other differences, but got by, by not discussing them, as we both acknowledged.

Thanks for listening. Edith always listened to me...

I never told her, but I thought that one of my roles as friend was to amuse Edith, entertain her, and I think I did with my words. So I talked more, especially in later years of friendship.

Again, L O V E THE EDITH'S 90th BIRTHDAY VIDEO. THANK YOU.

BlesSings, Joy

PS. Thank you for all the love messages to me from Edith's family.
I WAS TRULY BLESSED HAVING EDITH IN MY LIFE, especially after my husband, obm, died.

I LOVE EDITH.

The BFF = Joy

Screen shot from Edith's 90th Birthday movie by son.

~ ~ ~

'Counting the Omer with Edith and after Edith'

We were 'a pair', and today the Omer pair is HEART.

PSALMS OF MY SOUL

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer - day 17 which is two weeks and three days of the Omer.

TIFERET sh b’TIFERET - HEART of HEART ספירת העומר

Heart of Heart - Balance, Beauty, Truth, Compassion

Today, as most days recently, I think of my truly beloved friend, Edith, BFF, obm. Her memorial is this Sunday, following the week of Tiferet. Edith died 5th day of the Omer, 12 days ago. From my heart each day in prior years and the first days of this Sephirat HaOmer season, I shared with Edith the meaning of each Omer day as I understood it - all around me, coming through me and within me. Being a religious and spiritual woman, Edith enjoyed learning about my faith. (She knew more than me and chastised me for not knowing "all the bible", including hers.) Edith had been a church organist, and I am a temple musician. We shared many interests, especially gardening. Was really gardening of the heart... We had opposing thoughts too, especially on who should be US president and cancelled out each other’s vote! For heart reasons, we restricted some of our conversations.

'Counting the Omer' today is HEART based within Truth, Beauty, Compassion, Harmony and Balance. This composed most of our days and years, especially Edith’s personal 95 years. Tomorrow Edith would have celebrated her 95th birthday surrounded by hearts’ love. (Yes, you know I am tearing.)

One of Edith’s sons following his mother’s, obm, death called Edith and I “a pair” and now I realize that we were a ‘pair’, a team. (Edith is growing pears in her garden.) I hadn’t analyzed our relationship. I didn’t stand back and examine it. I was just deeply within it. Yes, dear Edith, I acknowledge that you were the age of my own mother, obm, and what that means to you.

I appreciate the friendship concept offered up by a son. Concocting TIFERET-filled still lifes together in her home and garden for my photo group's photography themes over the prior 4 1/2 years, and appreciating the TIFERET of life, we were 'a pair' for at least a couple decades but knew each longer as I drove by each day and saw Edith gardening and would wave. I am still feeling it. Feels better than the immediate mourning, grief and loss I endured upon Edith’s passing over, and from my heart--shared love-filled memories with Edith’s family. I had spent part of practically every day or evening over the years with Edith, a neighbor a few blocks away.

Edith did enjoy my photo projects although I didn't always use her ideas regarding props. Recently I didn’t act to reach up high to a shelf holding her deceased husband’s eagle sculpture. At times, Edith’s fast moving mostly unfriendly cat didn’t want to stand still either. You can see Caty's photos in my Edith web site*.

I think the best photo I ever took in Edith's home that wasn't of Edith-- was an awesome one that my photo group in no way appreciated yet weeks later someone else also staged it, and I shared that with Edith. I would tell Edith how many FaceBook ‘likes’ each photo received from our projects.

Edith and I used to set up still lifes. First time I ever created a still life was with Edith and fruit. We had different opinions how to make them look best. Edith liked fruit standing in same direction, more harmonious, and I liked various, more chaotic, and I’d place some upside down. Yes, we really spent a lot of happy, joyous, fun, creative time together... Edith would have me add her garden’s red or yellow hibiscus flowers to my swimming pool shots. There should be some shots in the Edith web site. Floating flowers are also in a video I made, Ripple Reflections, *** in tribute to Edith and her pool. I was ecstatic in Edith’s pool, especially when shooting from the heart.

Can't recall the theme... but in Edith's dining room I looked through and shot through a hanging chandelier crystal and photographed lots of fruits in patterns layered in a bowl on Edith's table by the curtained window. Awesome. Definitely one of my more strange creative photos filled with light and weirdness. OH, I loved those dark purple skinned bitter passion fruits and luscious orange persimmons from her tree. I made a YouTube movie of Edith preparing her dried Persimmons**.

With a fruit prop, used Edith’s magnificent large cream-colored table cloth (maybe amazingly crocheted by her mom). I neatly refolded the precious ancestral cloth. Photos in site.

(My own mom, z”l, obm, used to love the lights from hanging crystals. My creative artist gardener mom, died young 1969, would have loved Edith, so humble and nothing pretentious about Edith, an 'earth mother'. My mom used to love creating still lifes with her own art for her photography. Hmm, In Hebrew my mom’s name was ‘heart’, Lev, Leba, thus Tiferet.)

I used to often stand by Edith at the sink and photograph her there, preparing, creating, cooking, cleaning. At times Edith would let me turn the cooking vegetables, or cut and prepare the persimmons for ‘drying'. Felt good that Edith trusted me with her foods and utensils. (I did good.) The large wind chimes with hummer at window above sink were a gift from me. Figured I'd bring in a hummer as Edith spent time making the Hummers’ sugar water drink. Edith loved the couple dozen hummers that flew around her porch, drinking from her feeders.
Edith would point out the differences in hummer behavior. There was a boss hummer who ran the show. Hummer photos are elsewhere in this blog.

Each morning Edith would heart-fully tell/show me about the twinkly lights she’d see emanating from the distant palm trees. They totally delighted her.

Each morning Edith is with me as I see the twinkles, like now. This morning, some of them entered my kitchen as I wrote on computer. I do believe it is Edith visiting me, filled with Tiferet.

In Tiferet sh b'Tiferet 2018,

Joy Krauthammer

* Edith:

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com

** Persimmon movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J023-ZFfCpM

*** Ripple Reflections in tribute to Edith movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFSnnHC2_7M&spfreload=1

Edith and Joy

enjoying Photo Booth

Edith and Joy on way to Joy's birthday party

Edith celebrating Joy for birthday with purple bags of Edith's jam.

For EDITH'S MEMORIAL,
a house full of photo (and video) memories surrounded by the prettiest flowers and love by her entire family,
– children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, nieces and friends
and Edith's BFF, me, Joy
Love you so much, dear Edith.

~ ~ ~

photos, collage by Joy, BFF

Edith's garden flowers and produce on memorial day

BFF Edith in Garden of Joy

Stopped by my BFF’s home yesterday to say goodbye to Edith’s, obm, family as they were preparing house for sale because beloved Edith died. On the dining room table were piles of things, and close to me was a pile of photos. On the very top of the pile was this photo of Edith and it was signed by me with a heart on the back. I looked closely and it was Edith in my garden by the fig tree. Photo is now on my fridge and shared with you. This is the day that Edith would have presented me with her jars of luscious home-made preserves (passion, orange, berry) for my birthday in a few hours. ...tears… and sweetest loving memories. - Joy Krauthammer

Letter to Edith's daughter.

It’s been a week since your mom’s, obm, memorial.

Of course I’ve spent the last week thinking of Edith.

I even had a dream that I was at the memorial, although it was a bit different, with a lot of colored decorations, I guess like all the beautiful colorful flowers. The photo displays were so loving. I’m very touched that you even had a photo of Edith and I.

I’m grateful to you that you were always present so that your mom, my best friend, could remain at home at the end of her life. and for prior years because you were there. Her kids and grandkids and pets could be with Edith at her home.

What a great blesSing. Edith would tell me the stories about how she had both her mom and mother in law at home. You did this for Edith as she had done. I hope you feel good about that. I know it was exhausting at the end, and stressful. I’m grateful that Edith’s end of life was not prolonged with suffering. Edith was surrounded in her home with love.

Your invitation to come swimming (without Edith present) is very kind. I always pull out the pine needles and palm tree debris that float on water so it doesn’t clog up your filter. I would always tell Edith if water level was too low for filter to function. I’m careful to mostly dry off on the steps so that I don’t waste the water (the way Lola, obm, did shaking her black body). I don’t shake as much.

Edith was always so kind. She would invite me to shower when I got out of pool, and I never did. Never wanted to use her water between drought and cost. I would shower at home getting wet again, and even use my hose outside so washing off body water wouldn’t be wasteful and would go into garden, although cold water. {{brrr}} If I forgot my towel, Edith offered me to take a towel and I didn't want her to have any extra work, so instead I air dried before getting into my car. After swimming and in house when I was putting in Edith’s nightly eye drops, I’d make sure I didn’t drop any swim suit drips on the floor, and dry them if I did.

I’m sure that Edith’s kindness to everyone is being rewarded in Heaven as she is welcomed.

It will be lovely to be in your garden. Location of a thousand photos and fantastic visits with Edith.

If you go away, feel free to tell me and I’ll drive by and make sure no trash is left at your door.

Over the years I’ve been bringing in the trash papers at front door for Edith.

Hope you keep your front window, etc. closed/locked for safety. :) I would close your kitchen window at night.

Hope Bon Bon/Caty is doing OK without her loving mom of blessed memory.

May you find comfort in all your memories, and knowing you took good care of your beloved mother.

May Edith rest in peace and with the angels.

BlesSings, Joy

~ ~ ~

BlesSings in Edith's, obm Garden on day of her memorial

Artichokes

Arugula

Plum blossoms

Roses

Last walk through Edith's, obm Garden

Edith was Earth Mama. The Matriarch.

Love the wooden clothespin holding blackberry vine.

The For Sale sign is up.

Last walk through Edith's, obm Garden

Edith was Earth Mama. The Matriarch.

The For Sale sign is up.

Edith's, obm Awesome Garden

The last collage.

As Edith's family was prepping her home for sale, after her death two months ago 4.5.18,

I wandered into the loved back garden and shot a few images after walking through.

Here's Edith's loved poppies, and chiles and beans. The berries were also ripening.

Missing this experience so much...

Gifts for Joy's Birthday

Thank you, Janelle, for the jams for my birthday.

You remembered and warmed my heart.

Thank you Ann and Janelle for the yellow bearded iris tubers that had come from my garden,

planted in Edith's garden, and I'm grateful to have yellow back again, planted in my garden.

A Legacy.

with love, Joy 2018

Edith's Preserves a few years later with my breakfast today

Strawberry opened 17 months later.

I give thanks again on Thanksgiving week.

Thinking of my BFF Edith, obm and her family, especially at this time of Thanksgiving. Blessed, I was invited to their joyous celebrations. Edith died last year, a week shy of her 95th birthday, and in the spring week of Easter, her holiday. 

 

Slowly savoring Edith’s preserves (see photo), I’ve finished the awesome Raspberry from 2015 (open for a couple years at least) and begun to enjoy the wax sealed Strawberry, 2017. Marmalade was my favorite, now gone. These were presents to me for my birthdays from Edith and her family, who helped in the canning process. Preserves were offered to me from the new jars but I said to save for my birthday.  

When I was a child, even a teen, I prolonged the pleasure of my parents’ birthday present to me every year, by only taking a baby bite of the Baby Gherkin Pickles in a small jar. I made the sweet little treasures last until my next birthday.  Dear Edith was only 4 years younger than my mother, z"l, who died at 49, instead of 94. May their memories be savored.

Happy Thanksgiving blesSings

© Joy Krauthammer   11.24.19

Edith's, obm house for sale summer 2018

before realtor stole away all the plants from front garden

Poppies on left, bearded irises center and rear right. Succulents center.

Sago palms behind.

And missing Caty/Bon Bon/Sparkles. RIP

Join your mama Edith in Heaven. She loved you.

Edith revealed G*d's Face all moments with her love

for family, friends, pets & garden.

~ ~ ~

THANKSGIVING came and went without being able to visit dear Edith, OBM, and celebrate with her family, so I wrote to her family, sent photos, and visited her persimmon tree near the street.

Edith's Thanksgiving Table hours before meal

For Chanukah this happened:

On the first night of Chanukah, now, what truly brought me to wet tears, is receiving/seeing the photo sent to me by Ashley, the granddaughter of my dearest friend Edith, obm- who died this last spring and had lived near me. Ashley in the Bay area with her fiance' put up her first tree without her beloved Granny and in her tree placed JOY, the little holiday ornament that hung in her Granny's tree where their entire large family of 4 generations celebrated annually their Christmas holiday, to which I was always invited. It deeply warms my heart that I am remembered by friend's family, even long distance. Chanukah is about remembering.

(Because I could not bring warm latkas (potato pancakes) nor sufganiot (jelly donuts), nor chocolate gelt (coins) to my home-bound friend Edith last night as I always did to share my holiday with her, I felt the loss and sadness.)